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gabyluvpuppy
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Name: Serafiani
Country: United States
State: Illinois
Metro: Granite City
Birthday: 6/14/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: reading books,listening musics,sleeping,eating,talking and everything
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/24/2005
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| my 1st day of holiday
sounds great to have holiday
in fact, it doesn't sound so all the time
on one side, I am enjoying time without studying
another side, there is something always going on my mind
I wish I can pull that out of my mind
only Him knows what will happen next
I know it won't be bad for me
yet, I am afraid to know it,
to deal with it..
I know I shouldn't be..
this and that happened in my life this past few weeks
no certainties for some
this' coming back again
the same question arises
none of the answers ever fit
how long will these keep going?
it's time for another waiting,
another patience to be tested,
finding the hidden answers...
my life has been written
and it goes as what it is.. | | |
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my 4th birthday without my family..
last year..
a year before last year..
and 2 years before last year..
tough?
for the 1st time,yes it was..
2nd time, I was oke..
3rd time, I was used to it..
4th time, I think I start to miss it..
though no cakes, no surprises, no surprising presents, I miss that time..
I miss hugs from them...
I miss them saying happy birthday..
I miss their kisses on my cheeks..
I miss them asking me what I wanna go for dinner...
I miss asking them to buy me this and that for presents..haha..
I miss my mom's noodle..=p
I miss every single thing that usually we did back 5 years ago..
here I am, another country to stay..
a new place to celebrate my birthday..
yes it's sad..
I chose to be away from home for studying..
and I know I won't be able to spend few important events with my family..
yet I'm blessed to have some ones to celebrate my birthday with...
I may not be able to stand if I don't have all of you to spend that one-in-a-year day..
thanks for the time..
it's more than enough for me..
thanks for remembering it too..
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| I am tired of this and that..
I was gonna stop this feeling
IF!! he didn't say anything on that day..
and yet..something different turned out..
you did not remember what day it was
I don't know how you found out about it
I didn't expect that you would..
I was prepared to stop it..
until that day..
oh well..but thanks for remembering..
thanks to ask me that
and thanks to God that it turned out differently from what I thought..
=)
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| you were different yesterday..
you really were different..
been long time didn't see you like that..
that was your 1st you..the one I know for the 1st time
I don't understand...
where was "your 1st you" before yesterday?
why?
can I expect this more?
should I be happy only because "your 1st you" came back?
I don't want to..
I'm scared I will be back to previous feeling..
It wasn't fun at all..
It's tiring..
It's tough to hold it, to see you like that..
I'm sorry if I sounded too demanding..
I'm sorry if I am too childish...
I don't avoid to know you more
but I just don't know how..
but thanks for the past two days..
you have let me in a bit deeper..
even though it's only 2 mm over million mm..
so..will I see you as the 1st time I knew you again?
will you talk to me again as yesterday?
will you let me in?
or it will only be my wish? | | |
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There have been lot of things happen these days..
I really wanna know what I should do but just couldn't get the answer..
seems so easy but in fact it's much harder..
seems so simple but it's not..
feels like different person everytime I meet you..
just couldn't understand it..
seems you don't wanna let me in..
seems you don't wanna talk to me..
seems you avoid me all the time I am trying to start a conversation...
yet different at the next meeting...
but I know one thing, it still be in you everytime..
it may be enough for me to balance all the confusion that you have made..
and again I realise that you have never shown it to me no more when you are talking to me.
it may be oke sometimes,I miss it so much..
I just couldn't understand why this' changed..
I don't want to hate this feeling but I am scared to let it grow..
I am blessed to know you..
I don't regret to meet you..
I really wish and pray to get rid from all of these confusions..
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